Wednesday 25th March 2009
Well tomorrow is D day for us, we are off to Hammersmith once again, but this time it will be our last time. We are going for our review meeting with our doctors to see how, why and where our IVF failed. And to be honest I am very relieved, I am ready to put this IVF behind me and close that little box of failure. You see for us it has been 10 long years of grieving and hating the world and , feeling like life was so unfair, watching friends and family having babies around us, their lives moving on in the directions we could only dream of. Well how time changes things, and I am a great believer in “time is a great healer” because it sure is. With 4 failed IUI’s and the recent failed IVF we all shared together has proved to us as a couple that we have done all we can, or all we are prepared to do and I am ready to move on. I am ready to move on with my life, together with Ross and no added pressure, no nagging kids, stropy teenagers and a life time of constant worry. We have a very simple life now, where we can enjoy each other, go out when we want, be as noisy as we want and buy what we want. Life is good, you see I have felt free and a release since the IVF has failed, like I can lay my infertility to rest. We gave it 10 years of our lives and gave it our best shot and it is NOT meant to be. For me I have now reached closure and it feels fantastic. I feel I can live again, have fun again and laugh again and stop punishing myself for being a failure. So now that I have finally reached this stage I am NOT going back to the whole trying game.So whatever the doctors have to tell us tomorrow, we can embrace the fact that we have made our decision together NO MORE TRYING………Wow that feels good. Our trying and failing has ended for us and we are going onto our second life together now. One of travel, and fun, and living for us and god we are excited.We have been told on a number of occasions that what we have as a couple is very special, our bond, our love, and our trust is quite unique, and this last IVF has brought us even closer. So we have no worries that we will be very happy together just the two of us and we don’t need to play mummy and daddy we can just be hubby and wifey and enjoy it.So tomorrow will be complete closure of one life and in turn a new life will begin and we are ready to grab it and run with it. We are very lucky in love and I for one wouldn’t change that for 10 babies.