Monday 2nd February 2009It’s over……I’ve fucked it!!!………I knew I would fail, why do I even bother?, that’s exactly how I was feeling this morning when I was having my morning wee. You see I was presented with a large wobbly, clear, sticky show of mucus, and we all know what that means………..don’t we ladies? Yes ovulation is about to occur. So great I am sitting on the loo losing all my healthy eggs, and one by one they are popping out of my ovaries and dying. That is just GREAT. This is about the worst thing that could possibly happen at this stage. If I ovulate now there will be no eggs for the doctors to take, and no eggs for the doctors to fertilise. So there you go IVF failed. Hummmm, and to top it all off we are snowed in. The worst snow we have seen for 18 years, and I need to get to Hammersmith IVF unit for my scan appointment at 7.30 am in the morning. I had better start walking now then. Fucking hell……… bollox……..Fuck………FUCK. So once again I am robbing prayers from you all.Then everything changed, panic over, no need to worry, it’s fine and the excitement returned. See I spoke to another, strong, brave, and amazing woman who has been through the IVF process herself and she calmed me down, and assured me this happened to her and it is absolutely fine. Phewwwww, I am NOT ovulating, and my egg counting scan I’m having in the morning will prove that to me. Thank god I haven’t failed.So I jumped in the bath for my pre scan short back and sides, and tried to imagine how many eggs were dangling from my over worked and under paid ovaries. Bless them!!! Over the past few weeks I have really started connecting with my ovaries on more of an intimate and personal level. Betty on the right and Olive on the left, I have also found myself talking to them at times. Giving them praise and reassurance and egging them on. It is hard to imagine that they will have any more then 8 eggs, which is the most I produced with my IUI treatments. Hummmm however with all the swelling and pain I’m thinking Betty might have 8 just on her. Oh god it’s getting really exciting!!!!!!!!! These follicles are at the moment holding my potential children in them. Keeping them nice and warm and snug, and I am going to see them in the morning. Wow even closer to the biggest and most important job in the world, being a loving parent. Egg numbers to follow tomorrow, hehe.